Hello hello and welcome to the first episode of my podcast.

I hope that someone is listening and I’m not just talking to myself like a crazy person.

 But in this podcast, I will be telling different stories in slower English with clear pronunciation and you can find always the transcription of the podcast and also the vocabulary list in the notes of the podcast and also on my Instagram.

So without further ado, let’s go and start this first episode with a story of my Erasmus experience.

As many of you know (but some of you don’t) I went to Erasmus to France… and to be specific I went to Caen which is in the north of France.

This experience was very enriching (which means that it gave me a lot) and I actually wrote a book about it.

Don’t worry it’s not a traditional book but it’s a mixture of a book and a comic book. So this podcast will actually be based on this book.

This book is divided into three parts so the podcast will also be in three parts that will be based on the book and maybe then I will add some bonus episodes.

Let’s just start and go from the beginning.

You will also find in the notes of the podcast and on my Instagram the part of the book that I will be talking about. So you can either look into the transcription but also into the book where you can find pictures and drawings that I am talking about.

Let’s go.

Erasmus in France through my eyes.

Visiting a foreign country alone for the first time is hard. Every time someone shares with you their experience of their travels abroad, they have already put everything into perspective.

But what is it like at the time of experiencing those things? What is it like when you struggle so when you have difficulties and don’t know what to do? I was actually writing this book as I was experiencing everything so that is why it’s a little pessimistic in the beginning.

There is why I decided to write a book about it because no one tells you how they really feel once they arrived in a new place- they only tell you the good parts.

Don’t get me wrong, Erasmus is amazing, and you will see how my experiences and perceptions changed during the semester but I also struggled a lot, especially in the beginning and I needed to find a coping mechanism so something to help me deal with the experience.

So now you are listening and reading to my coping mechanism.

I did what I do well: I made jokes I made snarky comments and I was sarcastic every step of the way.

So we will start with the first part: Getting used to it a.k.a: everything is on fire.

When I decided to go on Erasmus, I was very excited but it was also something very vague and very in the future. With covid and everything, one could never know what was going to happen in the next few months. So I didn’t let myself be too enthusiastic (so too happy) about it so that I wouldn’t be too sad if it all went to s***

But when August came and no signs of cancellation were in sight, I started to realize that this is happening and I got a bit scared. Leaving my family, leaving my city, my friends, my boyfriend oh I didn’t want to do that but it was too late to change my mind.

So that was it here they come all the new things.

I didn’t know what to expect. Actually I had no idea what I was doing- leaving my country for a few months and living in a francophone country (which is a country where they speak French) by myself. That was a new experience for me and trust me the process of transition of changing was not comfortable at all.

How does the same go? Outside the comfort zone that’s where the growth happens or something like that? In that case, I would be growing a lot because it was really outside my comfort zone as you can see in the picture in the book.

Anyway, I won’t lie to you… okay, I will lie but just a little bit. The first days for me were rough, rough means very difficult. 

I am not a traveler who welcomes every new thing and I felt like everything is so much more complicated in France, especially the administration

The bureaucracy is going strong here (which means that it’s still very important)…you have no idea. I couldn’t wrap my head around it …when you can’t wrap your head around something it means that you don’t understand or you cannot understand something.

Running from office to office, trying to figure out my schedule for the upcoming semester, waiting, changing classes, waiting and running some more. Uni (=university) offices became my second home. Yes, I thought I will grow old in the lines when I was waiting.

It was crazy.

All in all, the first week almost broke me (and you can also see a drawing of my first week in France in the PDF book).

I know it sounds silly because so many people went to Erasmus and they made it through just fine. And then they went again to some other country and then again and everything went smoothly like a knife through butter (yeah that’s also a saying: to go smoothly as a knife through butter …so it’s very easy).

It wasn’t like that for me. I felt so out of place in France and I had so much to figure out and nothing was coming together. Beginnings are hard.

It didn’t help much that even though I was learning French, my proficiency level (so just in general my level) was really not good it was like a mission to try and communicate with French people who couldn’t or didn’t want to speak English.

One thing that was good, well not good, amazing, from the beginning was the people and other Erasmus students. I had never experienced relating to someone just out of sheer not belonging until being in France so basically I connected with them on the basis of not belonging. As you belong to someone because together you don’t belong…you know what I mean?

And there you can see bonding with people over feeling lonely, inability to understand French people, having no idea where the classroom is, and swearing over malfunctioning Wi-Fi.

The Wi-Fi I will not even start on that.

But when I look back at the first week there were a few things that spoke to me quite loudly:

1) uni classes 

2) spending money and 

3) fear of missing out

so let’s go one by one, shall we…

1) Uni classes:

university classes… I was a little foolish but I really thought that when one is studying English they would have classes in …you know… English.

Let Me Explain: in the Czech Republic all our English classes and doesn’t matter which one, are entirely (so the whole class) in English. You won’t hear a word in check apart from courses concerned with translation from English to Czech where the reason for understanding and ability to speak Czech is kind of self-explanatory (so it explains itself).

The thing is, they really try very hard to avoid English as much as possible and the worst thing is that it is supposed to be in English but it just… isn’t, so there I was trying to find an English course that would be actually in English.

So, that’s easy just look into the system and see what language is listed in the course… yeah right. That is not what happens.

So that was difficult.

2) spending and money

Did you know that France is a really expensive? Well not for everyone, obviously, but for the average Czech person, it is really expensive.

So after a few days, I was starting to realize that I need to be very cautious, (so very careful) about the things I am buying because I need to think twice about going out for a drink when it costs maybe five times more than in the Czech Republic.

Then there is also the problem of being TOO cautious, so too careful.

I don’t want to sit in the room when all the others are enjoying themselves and having fun.

I want to have fun too …but when to allow myself to spend money and when to save it for later?

It is so much more difficult than at home… Jesus.

But it was also important for me to remind myself that I was there to enjoy myself.

Not be afraid to pay more money for the experiences and memories. It is challenging when your brain is operating in the „safe as much as possible“ mode.

I realized that a lot of people have the opposite problem but this is my story so…

3) fear of missing out and going out

That one is a little bit connected to the spending but also with the management of my own energy (Management = so how I store and how I use my own energy).

If you have ever been to Erasmus you know that there is something happening all the time.

Every night someone is going to the pub, almost every afternoon someone is playing some team game, and almost every weekend someone is going to some other city and place.

Don’t get me wrong, it is amazing but I also caught myself being very stressed about it.

I wanted to be everywhere and I wanted to experience everything …because what if I am not there and something amazing happens?

The feeling that I am missing something was hanging over me like a cloud.

But as the days went by, I had to accept the fact that I simply cannot be everywhere. Not only don’t I have the money for that but I am also not the type of a person who can be with other people all the time.

I need time for myself. I need to focus on my mental health and relaxation because if I don’t, I can’t even enjoy all the great moments when I actually am with people.

Plus I am not the most enjoyable company in this state so I guess it is beneficial for all parties involved, for me to stay home.

I realized that when I spent quality time with myself, I don’t have to regret anything… oh or maybe the majority or most of my actions.

Going out every night doesn’t really even sound appealing (so it doesn’t sound good to me) is there something wrong with me?

To be completely honest I would much rather stay in the building and chat with my few friends there.

Yeah, surrounded by people that out for drinks every night I was asking myself: am I supposed to want to party all the time?

Now, I know the answer is no you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do and for me, parting was just not it.

The thing is that I wanted to make so many friends in France but then I asked myself: why? why do I need so many friends?

I actually don’t yeah (that is me trying to convince myself) because the truth is that it is very difficult for me to build strong relationships, especially when I would go out with different people every night.

No there is not me. I realized that I just need to find a few good friends and build trust.

Anyway as I said the beginnings were hard as hell (hard is hell means again very difficult). I missed home so much.

And there were a lot of things I didn’t think I would miss such as the microwave …yeah we didn’t have one of those in our accommodation building – very very annoying- but there were other things as well so here is a list of things that I missed-

1) microwave and oven. 

2) someone else buying toilet paper – because I had to buy it for myself all the time. 

3) the ability to understand people around me.

4) cheap drinks in pubs, 

5) doing laundry for free …yeah you have to pay for that.

To conclude this chapter I want to mention one important thing that I have learned over the first few days, and weeks here in France.

I have found out that I should really work on my coping mechanism and stress management. One would say that by the age of 23 (yeah I was 23 and now I am 25) I would know that already or better …I would be actively working on it and have it all figured out but you know it …it is not a race.

Okay, so that’s the end of part one of my Erasmus experience.

Please let me know if you listen to it and how you like it.

It is very very important to me, especially as this is the first episode.

If you don’t know me I am Dagmar Tomášková I am an English tutor and you can find me on Instagram @dajinka73 …send me a message to tell me how you like it and if you want to hear more.

I will see you with the next part soon.