WRITTEN TRANSCRIPTION OF THE PODCAST:

Hello and welcome to my podcast My Life and Other Funny Stories. My name is Dagmar Tomášková, I am an English tutor and coach and I created this podcast for English students who want to improve their oral comprehension. As always you can find the transcription of this episode and vocabulary list in the notes of the podcast. 

In today’s episode I am bringing you another insight into American culture and this time it is a funny one. I don’t know if you heard about it but there is a meme, a running joke that says that people in Florida are crazy. And that if you read about anything crazy on the internet, it almost always happened in Florida. 

In this episode, I would like to introduce you to 5 of these stories through news-article headlines. I will also add some pictures to the transcription so go check it out, it is quite funny. So here are some of the craziest Florida stories. 

#1: Florida man breaks into a house, cleans it and leaves behind origami

Basically what happened was that a guy called Nate Roman came home and found out that someone had broken into his home while he was gone. But the person hadn’t stolen anything. He had cleaned everything instead. including making his bed and washing the toilets. Last but not least, he had made origami roses on the toilet paper so that it would look nice. 

I mean, it is quite funny, the thought that some stranger broke into the house and only cleaned it. But isn’t it also extremely disturbing? Just the thought of coming home and finding out that my apartment is cleaned while I leave alone makes my skin crawl. The phrase “it makes my skin crawl” means that it makes me absolutely disgusted or afraid.

#2 – okay, this one is just so bizarre:

Florida couple trapped in unlocked closet for two days.

Before I get into it, when you are trapped somewhere, it means that you can’t get out and you have to wait for someone to save you.

So, a couple in Florida called 911 – after spending TWO DAYS in a closet in a science centre- saying that they needed help. They said that someone chased them – which means that someone was running after them and they hid in the science centre in the closet but couldn’t get out. But when the police came, they found out that the closet in which the couple was trapped, was unlocked and they could have just easily walked out if they wanted to.

As I said, they were there for two days so they had to do their business there instead of going to the bathroom which is just…a horrible thought. 

I think it is a surprise to exactly no one that it turned out the couple was high on meth and they were later arrested for trespassing which is a crime of going to someone’s land or a house without their permission. 

Just don’t do drugs if you don’t want to be stuck in an unlocked closet for two days, I guess.

#3: Florida man arrested for calling 911 after his cat was denied entry into a club

A man was arrested after he wanted to go into a strip club but was carrying a kitten in his hands. The club workers didn’t want to let him in with the kitten so he called the police on them. However, it didn’t work out exactly as he wanted to as according to the police, he was very uncooperative and kept calling 911 even after the police arrived. In the end, the police arrested him for misusing the 911.

I can’t even imagine that the first thing that someone can think of after being refused to enter a strip club because their kitten couldn’t go in with them is to call the police. Like, if you need to go to the strip club so bad, can’t your kitten wait at home for a few hours? I guess not. 

#4 Florida man arrested for throwing alligator through drive-thru window

Around 1:30 am on October 11, 2015 a guy called Joshua James ordered a large drink at his local fast food – that fast food is called Wendy’s. We don’t have that one here in the Czech republic but I guess it is pretty similar to any other fast food chain like McDonald’s or KFC. After he pulled up to the drive-thru window, he threw an alligator into the Wendy’s kitchen. Luckily, no one was hurt in this incident and the alligator was captured and released. James said that he found the alligator on the side of the road and just wanted to make a joke. He was arrested for assault.